The Past Taps Me On My Shoulder


Yesterday I ran into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile. As we did our quick five-minute catch-up, she asked me how my ex was doing. I told her “I wasn’t sure since we’re no longer together.”  Immediately, she gave me the look of sadness and sympathy.  I’ve gotten used to “that look”. She didn’t hesitate to say she thought she saw him with another woman a few days ago and sorta resembled Jennifer Aniston.

If her parting words were meant to make me feel better about myself – she was dead wrong! All sorts of images came flying through my mind – Did he hook up with her while we were together? If not, how soon after did they meet?  I told myself “Calm down. Leave it alone.” But crazy thoughts were flooding my mind so I immediately drove to my sister’s house for support.

When I recounted my conversation, she immediately said “Oh, let it be. Just because the past taps you on the shoulder, doesn’t mean you have to look back. So what she looks as hot as Jennifer f**king Aniston”, she says waving her arm around.

She then looked at me with a smirk and said “let’s look him up in Facebook or his Instagram account. He’ll post photos of her there. Yes! Let’s do that!”

In that instant, I knew she was more excited than I to see how this woman looked. That’s when it hit me.

“Gonna pass on it” I told her.

He wouldn’t be the wiser but I didn’t want to seem as if I was stalking him. It didn’t feel right to me. I can’t change the past and I didn’t want to continue spending the rest of the evening hashing out what happened to us like a broken record player. I wasn’t going back to him nor did I want to. I’m on good terms with my ex.  It just never made sense to hate on someone that I once loved.

For now, I’m happy where I am.

“Sis, do you have a bottle of wine or beer in the fridge…let’s celebrate.”

 Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. ~ Eckhart Tolle

33 thoughts on “The Past Taps Me On My Shoulder

  1. Tolle is correct, and you are a Super Hero in my book. Don’t be like Lot’s wife from the bible and look back. She turned to a pillar of salt. Your blessing is in a wind blowing your way. Isn’t it exciting to know that you’ve cleared its path???!

  2. No need to look back and conjure up negative feelings when the future is full of positive possibilities! Great job! Loved the narrative!

    1. Thanks Tasha! I commented on your blog regarding Target’s policy but came out anonymous. I’m in the middle of writing about Target for Friday’s post and came upon your post…they have a petition to stop this from happening. Glad you’re sharing the news. Wake people up!

  3. Sometimes we couldn’t help that curiosity over our will to know something’s going on in their life without us, but you made the right choice for the bottle of wine or beer. 🙂

  4. I think it’s hard to just turn off your feelings when you’ve loved someone deeply. Somewhere in the process of getting over the hurt we feel, it’s natural to be curious about where that person is, what they’re doing and with whom they’re doing it. However, the healthier thing to do, as you clearly realized, is to learn what you should from the past and move on because life is not static.

  5. I am glad you decided to let it go. No use hanging on to the past although people sometimes don’t let us forget it.

  6. Good job on letting it go! That definitely deserved a celebration! And that acquaintance of yours that told you about the girl is an incredibly hateful person. There was no reason to tell you that other than for pure gossip and drama.

  7. I’m so proud of you! Keep living your life for yourself, and for what you believe in. 🙂

  8. Good for you. Sometimes when we look back we trip over the present and then limp into the future when we could be happily skipping along.

  9. Its so true that it just doesnt make sense to hate someone whom u once loved! But at the same time it is imp to understand and accept that one cannot keep loving that person till eternity, moving on is the way of life!!
    Liked the post!

  10. I once checked my ex on Facebook before, when my partner learned about this, he got mad at me saying he can’t find any reasonable reason for me to check on my ex’ whereabouts, now I more than understand. Thank you for this wonderful post!

  11. Love this post. Good for you, getting on with your life. No point looking back. Hope you enjoyed your wine. 🙂

  12. You may be better off in the future to avoid this type of acquaintance, for her own misguided reasons. And unfortunately, she was successful, perhaps, not to the extend that she would have wanted (i.e.; seeing you come completely undone). But enough that you thought about it and even put it in your post.

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