I exhaled deeply. We walked from the church into an overcast sky, and waited as the pallbearers carried my father’s casket into the hearse at a gentle and steady pace.
It felt good to feel the crisp fresh air on my face and watch the serenity and purity of the snow falling gently and silently on the streets.
To lead the procession of mourners to the cemetery, immediate family followed the hearse as friends and family drove closely behind with their car lights on.
As we reached the grave site, the casket lifted and carried out from the hearse to the grave, an attitude of somberness prevailed.
Gathering around the mourners, we all stared, while the ground-keepers gently lowered my father’s coffin more than 10 feet to the earth. Heartbreaking all too evident.
I felt I was watching someone else’s life. It felt surreal. I felt as if time stood still.
After we prayed, one by one, each person threw a red rose in his grave. Looking into the ground, I knew his flesh and bones were in the coffin but his spirit/soul was around trying to comfort us. What would he have said?
Being at the mercy of the weather, we began to get into our cars. Everyone was silent. We were all in our thoughts – reflecting/absorbing our experience that morning.
As we drove away, I looked out the window and noticed we left behind our footprints on the snow.
Happy Fathers Day to E V E R Y one! XO
Update: I wrote this two years ago and to refresh my memory, I asked a few of my family members “what do you remember”?
mother: “Oh, it was a horrible day. The weather was horrible” lol
son: “My shoulder is not the same, that coffin was ‘bleepin’ heavy” hahaha
sister #2: “ I don’t remember my son being there. Do you”? Lol
Sister #4: It was a beautiful morning. Felt peaceful. It was snowing lightly, the trees and scenery looked like a landscape painting. I felt sad and surreal at the same time.
i mean
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Thanks.
Beautifully written Bernice. And for some reason it conjured my memories of mum’s funeral, two years ago as well. Thinking of you with love and peace. 🙏
Big hugs 💜💛❤️
And back atcha ❤️💙
So sad, losing a parent. I lost my dad 25 years ago and miss him to this day. xo
💜💛❤️💙💚
Memories of fathers are prone to grab us on this day! Struggle to remain in that grasp just a little while longer this year if you can!
Will do! 😊
My heart feels this with you. Death of a loved one is so very surreal in fact that was the exact word my cousin used when she went to visit my Mum after she died. Sending you love and hugs for your loss. xoox
Thank you. xo
You wrote it beautifully, Bernice. Poetic and moving. Your words remind me of something immensely important:
Cherish the time we have with our loved ones before it’s too late.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Love.
“Time” as we know it is passing by us quickly. Life is short…and as you wrote “cherish the time with loved us”. Couldn’t agree with you more. xo
Thinking of you Bernice. I’m sure his spirit/soul sat with you as you penned this. I imagine he joined in and laughed at the variety of updates that were recalled!
I bet he got a kick out of it. He had a great sense of humor. Funny thing, he kept popping into my head a lot more than usual. 🙂
A great way to keep his memories alive. A nice read, Bernice.
Thank you. I find writing cathartic.
Welcome.
I think this is an amazing resource that writers have – which others don’t: we naturally capture snapshots of life while the emotions run high, and those help us hang onto the memories and lessons from our life events. Many others don’t, and as life proceeds, memories often fade and we lose what was so significant to us – unless we are reminded for some reason (which isn’t too often in general).
A beautiful way to preserve the memory, and help process grief that may linger for a long time after.
Great points! I still find it amazing how each one of us shared the experience yet created a different “reality” for us.
you wrote about this terrible event so well, I could visualize it in my mind. i am deeply sorry about the loss of your dad.
Thank you Wendi. He’s still with us in spirit.
Yes he is!